Do you feel that you are alone in your caregiving efforts? Before you assumed the caregiving role, you likely had a busy life full of family obligations, work and extra curricular activities. When you are all of the sudden fulfilling the role of caregiver, you soon learn about the feeling of isolation and you lose touch with friends and other activities. You may feel that no one understands what you are going through and you wonder how you are going to cope when your loved one starts declining, causing more work and stress on you.

Luckily, there are plenty of resources all over the country that are in existence to provide support to caregivers who need a helping hand. Whether it is a sounding board, seeking advice or needing actual physical help outside the family, these resources are there to tap into. Don’t assume asking for help is an admission of incompetence. No one could fully be prepared for the caregiver role. However, do you know where to look?

1. American Association of Retired People (AARP) is a great resource if the loved one you are caring is over 55 years of age. If they are an AARP member, so much the better! This organization is very cognizant of the issues that crop up due to age. From advice on finding a part-time job to how to navigate Medicare to locating resources on caregiving, AARP can help. They have a wealth of information at their fingertips and best of all they have local and state chapters so you may have someone near you to help.

2. The Family Caregiver Alliance is a national clearinghouse of all things having to do with caregiving. Here you can read up on what to expect when you first start caregiving, how to identify burnout, safety measures you should take if the loved one has cognitive impairments and even the latest in public policy and government measures. This resource is all-encompassing and can lead you in the right direction such as finding resources for certain things in your own backyard.

3. One of the leading reasons why many people assume a caregiver role is because their loved one has issues with cognitive impairment such as dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Because of this the Alzheimer’s Association is a great resource of information. They are another national clearing house of information and will guide you to your state or local chapters so you can obtain information about the disease, get referrals for specialists for your loved one and just seek advice.

4. The National Family Caregivers Association is a national organization that also provides excellent resources for your caregiving needs. They have a wealth of information from the latest in public policy to linking volunteers and caregivers together. This organization often works in conjunction with other agencies.

5. The U.S., state and local governments have various programs that are devoted to seniors and their specific needs as well as that of caregivers. Each state may have offices with different names but you can find those agencies nearest you through the National Association of State Units on Aging.

6. Other local and national organizations may also be able to help you in your caregiving needs. If your loved one has cancer, you might consider contacting a local chapter of the American Cancer Society or if they have heart disease, it would be the American Heart Association. The library and internet are the best sources for finding your local offices for any special interest organization.

When in doubt, you should also be able to turn to your loved one’s doctor for resources that could help you cope. If you attend church, father or priest may also have ties in the community that could help as well. Just know that you are never alone in your caregiving role. All you have to do take the first step and reach out.

No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to avoid feeling stressed in your caregiver role, particularly when your loved one is suffering from a debilitating chronic condition such as Alzheimer’s disease. The constant diligence in your role is commendable but it is important that you understand how to manage your stress to avoid burnout and depression.

Understanding Stress

Stress is the response to changes in your life (such as caregiving) in which your body is required to respond. Not all stress is a bad thing as it could be the only thing keeping your reflexes sharp and focused in a dangerous situation. It sometimes keeps your mental synapses firing full cylinder too. However, when you internalize stress it becomes a problem and can affect you physiologically.

You have control over your body to a certain point before those involuntary muscles take over, so you have to do what it takes to minimize stress. By recognizing the signs, you can address them individually. Here are some examples:

1. Sadness and Anger

2. Unproductiveness and lack of concentration

3. Over-worrying, acting impulsively, overreacting to a situation and isolation from loved ones and friends

4. Mood swings can run high and low (typically a sign of depression) and sleep does not come easily or restfully.

5. Physical symptoms of stress could be headaches and chronic pain in the muscles and joints; insomnia or excessive sleeping

6. Overeating to provide comfort or not eating due to a nervous stomach or even the use of drugs and alcohol to numb stress

Reducing the Stress

While caregiving can wear your down, there are many rewards such as spending quality time with a loved one. However, you need to get past some of the stress of caregiving to truly appreciate what you have. Here are some helpful hints to accomplish that:

1. Exercise several times a week, even if it is just a walk around the block. Exercise gets your blood pumping and it releases endorphins, a substance in the body which gives you a natural high.

2. Ban addictive items from your life such as drugs, tobacco and alcohol. Even caffeine should be limited too. By keeping your body healthy, this helps keeps some stress at bay. Plus, these things only mask stress, not get rid of it.

3. Always maintain an upbeat attitude, even when you do not feel like it. Stress can weigh you down emotionally, physically and mentally so if you are always upbeat, that attitude can eventually rub off thereby reducing stress.

4. Employ coping mechanisms to channel that stress. Deep breathing exercises seem to help calm nerves and imagery is quite popular. Massage is a favorite way to banish stress and biofeedback has its share of proponents.

5. Purposely changing your routine can shake things up a bit so your stress will be too busy in hiding to wreck your wellbeing. Voice your opinion when you are normally quiet. Sometimes doing the opposite of what you normally would do can be a great stress reliever.

6. Eat a healthy diet with plenty of vitamins and minerals. Taking care of yourself will not only reduce your stress but also help you live longer so your own kids have the opportunity to care for you too!

7. Talking is a great stress buster. Giving voice to your frustrations definitely helps and the best audience is family members, friends, your minister or even online friends in support groups.

There are plenty of things you can do to relieve stress beyond what is listed. As a caregiver, it is your duty to provide treatment and love to your ailing parent or other family member. Just do not lose sight on having fun and giving yourself a break every once in a while.

Adopting the role of caregiver is a long tradition of many families as it is the ultimate way to show love, kindness and devotion to a loved one in need. At some point in time, you or a family member will need a caregiver or have to step into the adult caregiver role – perhaps to care for an elderly parent. As the general population is growing older and living longer, there is an escalating need for adult caregiving and many families step into that role to fulfill that need.

While caregiving can be rewarding, it is a role that is also fraught with anxiety, fear, fatigue, stress and even some resentment. The possibility of burnout is quite high in adult caregivers and as a result, there are steps that should be taken to ensure that not only is your loved one well cared for but that you are as well. If you are not happy and are stressed and tired all the time, how will that translate to your caregiving role?

Half the battle is recognizing that you are close to burning out and the other half is doing something about it. You have to recognize that your own physical, emotional and mental health is just as important, if not more, than your loved one. Plus, you have to know when to ask for help and not be shy about it. Here are some important caregiver tips to prevent burnout:

1. Research your options for temporary long-term and short-term care when you need to take a vacation, a long weekend away or if you have to leave for an emergency. There are many agencies that offer in-home care or companion assistance, just as there are facilities that accept short-term patients should your loved one require constant care. Have these alternate caregivers waiting in the wings should you need them.

2. Schedule regular time away from your caregiving role. Enlist the help of siblings, friends and neighbors who can effectively watch over your loved one so that you can take a break whether it is going to the movies, going on a long walk, attending your child’s football game or having a date night with your spouse.

3. Join a support group through church, on the internet or even through a local agency. Commiserating with other people going through the same thing can greatly help your state of mind. Knowing those feelings of anger and frustration are normal definitely help diminish feeling guilty as well. Plus, you may learn new ways to cope or find help that you did not think of before.

4. Indulge in a hobby or something to take your mind off matters. Gardening, cross stitching, walking, listening to music and other activities can greatly help divert your attention away from your stress and give you a sense of well-being, sort of like recharging your internal batteries to be able to cope with your caregiving role more effectively.

5. Find time every day to pamper yourself so that you have something to look forward to. It may be waking 30 minutes early to savor a gourmet cup of coffee in peace or soaking in a hot tub full of bubbles. Perhaps it is those precious minutes of reading time while your loved one sleeps. Whatever unravels those internal knots, if only for a little while, is what you should do each day.

Always remember – it is not selfish to want to be alone and it is ok and perfectly normal to feel frustrated and angry about your situation. You will realize many rewards in caregiving such as getting to know your loved one more but those rewards do come at a price sometimes. By taking care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of your loved ones more effectively and efficiently.