Tag Archive | "Family Member"

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Staying Safe When Using Public Transportation


With gas prices being what they are, more and more people are going to be using public transportation to save on costs. If you are a woman, your chances of encountering a potential assailant rises with the use of public transportation, especially in the early morning and late evening hours. Normally, public transportation is very safe and taxi and other transportation companies do extensive background checks because they cannot afford any lawsuits stemming from employees attacking their passengers. Still, there is still an element of danger, especially for females, about using public transportation if you are a female traveling alone.

It is always better to be prepared for any contingencies and that means brushing up on self defense techniques and finding ways to avoid trouble in the first place. Here is some sage advice that should help notch up the comfort factor a bit when traveling via public transportation:

1. If you plan to ride the bus, always choose bus stops that are well-lit and busy. If the bus stop is in a questionable part of town, you should try and find a safer place to wait for a ride, such as a nearby café or shop where you can keep an eye out for the bus while staying safe.

2. Memorize your bus schedule so that you know exactly when to expect your bus ride and let a friend or family member know when to expect you after your public transportation ride.

3. When possible, sit close to the bus driver as potential assailants are less likely to target anyone close to witnesses. Also, be pleasant during bus conversations with others but keep it light with no personal information shared. You never know who is listening in for clues on how to isolate you.

5. Many people take a train or subway into the city for work. If you do, always wait for your ride in a well-lit, populated area or near an exit if you need to take an early one to avoid a potential threat. The well-lit areas will likely be patrolled by close circuit security televisions and criminals will be less likely to approach you and chance being caught on film.

6. Stick to a train or subway compartment that is well populated and do not isolate yourself. Keep your purse and other belongings close to avoid stealing. If you feel the least bit uncomfortable, switch seats or exit the next stop and get on a later train.

7. When you call a cab or taxi to pick you up, ask the cab company what the driver’s name is, the cab number and a general description of the person. Jot all the information down and leave it with a friend or family member so they know where to start looking should you go missing.

8. When hailing a taxi, make sure you have your cab fare ready in your hand so that you can quickly exit after your ride. Doing what you can to prevent lingering will lessen your chances of being approached by a potential assailant.

9. Once you find a reliable taxi company that you trust, ask for the same driver to pick you up each time you need their services. Not only will you be remembered by the taxi company for this request but the taxi driver will become familiar with you and provide information should something happen after you leave the cab.

Public transportation can save you big bucks in this oil driven world, especially if you are trying to conserve or trim your budget a bit. While the majority of the time public transportation is quite safe, you need to be prepared for the possibility of problems. Brush up on self defense techniques and practice safety protocols when necessary.

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Balancing Work and Your Role as your Parent’s Caregiver


Everyone who has a job and a family knows how difficult it can be to manage both responsibilities. But when you are a caregiver for a family member, this balance can become nearly impossible to manage. No longer are you trying to figure out how you are going to get to the meeting and to the Little League game. Now you’re wondering how you’re going to get to the office and make sure your parent is safe and cared for. You have to worry about who is looking after them when you’re not there, if you’re going to be able to leave the office in time to relieve the help, getting them to all of their medical appointments – the list goes on and on. Of course, once you take on the role of caregiver, you may actually end up missing a lot of work, which may make you worried about keeping your job.

Most caregivers cannot afford to give up their jobs – and in many cases, most of them don’t want to. If you’ve built up a career, even if it’s is not a financial necessity, it can be difficult to walk away from. Maybe it is the only thing that gets you out of the house and without your job, you would only have the task of providing care day in and day out. Whatever your reason for wanting to balance your job while you balance your responsibilities as a caretaker, you should know that it can be done. You just have to know where to turn for help and be willing to ask for what you need.

You may be surprised to find out that your biggest ally might be your employer. Employees have a tendency to try and hide the fact that they are providing care for someone from their bosses because they’re worried that they may get skipped over for promotions and that it might make them look uncommitted to their work. In reality, however, most companies are aware that these circumstances are very common and have programs in place to try and accommodate their employees who are caring for a parent. Your company may have financial assistance programs to help you hire home help to look after your parent while you work or to help you pay for adult day care. Your company may also be able to help you find counseling help or other support that you need to cope with your new responsibilities.

Even if your company doesn’t have such a program, you should know that in the US, you are entitled to take up to 12 weeks leave of absence per year from your job to care for a sick relative without worry about losing your job or any of your benefits. The catch is that the leave is unpaid, so this might not be a financial possibility for many caregivers.

If you can’t afford to quit working, look into alternative solutions that might help you juggle your new schedule. See if your company offers job share programs or if they can allow you to work from home at least a few days a week. See if one of your siblings may be able to get some time off from their jobs more easily than you to take off some of the burden. Last but not least, if your company is completely inflexible and unwilling to work with you, then you may need to look for a new job. Millions of Americans care for their parents, and many companies out there are willing and able to accommodate employees who do so.

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The Different Faces of Online Dating Services


If you are considering an adventure online dating, be prepared to make a choice. It seems like everyone has gotten into the online dating game. There are so many different online dating agencies to choose from today, it can be difficult to make a choice regarding which online dating site is right for you. Here is a quick look at the different faces of online dating services.

A whole world of online dating services

The great thing about online dating today, is that you can find a service that specializes toward almost any type of activity, religious affiliation, lifestyle, ethnicity, and just about anything else you can think of. With so many didn’t online dating agencies, there is a good chance you can find your other half. Take a look at some of the new online dating websites that are popping up, and you’ll probably find something that catches your eye.

Dating agencies: Not new phenomena

Although the recent spate of online dating agencies seems to indicate that this trend is a recent phenomenon, the concept of dating agencies has been around for hundreds of years. Although not in the same form as we recognize today, the art of matchmaking has been around for time immemorial. Almost every civilization has some record of matchmaking. Whether it was a family member, or a village matchmaker, bringing people together via a third party is not a new idea. However, new online dating service is can harness the technology of the Internet to make millions of potential matches. If you are still hesitant about online dating, it is time to make the plunge. Your potential to successfully make a good match is better than ever.

Seeking Love in the General Dating Pool

The most popular online dating websites are meant for anyone with Internet access and an interest in finding true love. Think of the big-name online dating services as your “general dating pool”—a good place to start looking if you want to date with as many possible matching options as possible.

Faith-based dating agencies

One of the types of online dating agencies that is currently gaining popularity is the faith based dating agency. These dating sites tried to connect people with similar religious backgrounds. This is a good way to meet someone would shares your beliefs and worldview.

Ethnicity based dating agencies

Another popular type of dating service attempts to bring together people from similar ethnic backgrounds. Many people strive to find someone who shares the same cultural knowledge and ethnic background. This is a good way to meet someone who shares the same cultural touchstones. These websites can be particularly helpful if you happen to live and an area where you will not find many people would share your ethnic background.

Personality based dating agencies

Some of the most popular online dating services today like to tout their ability to match by personality. This makes sense in many respects. These websites how dare members fill out extensive personality forms, and answer many questions about the lifestyle, in an effort to match people based on their unique personality. The theory here is that to people who share common personality traits, or complementary traits, will be inherently better matched and better suited for one another.

Other Types of Online Dating Services

There are also many other types of online dating services that attempt to match people on a variety of different factors. One type of dating service attempts to match people based on shared hobbies. Shared interests are a good way to bring people together, and there are now online dating services that attempt to match based on a shared interest in motorcycles, gardening, etc. Another type of dating services tries to match people together based on a specific passion. There are online dating services, for example, for people who share a passion for saving the environment.

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The All-Encompassing Role of the Caregiver


Someone once said that everything in life boils down to two things – either you end up serving as the role of caregiver or you are the one in need of care. The role of a caregiver is all-encompassing and when it is for an adult, that job is compounded exponentially because of the dynamics of the adult relationship. There are many situations in which an adult caregiver is needed – you may hire one to help care for a sick parent or you yourself may end up with the role of caregiver.

An adult caregiver has a variety of roles to perform. There are possible financial aspects like paying bills and balancing a checkbook to aiding in every day activities such as transporting to and from doctor appointments or going grocery shopping. For adults who need more in depth care, they may require help in bathing, eating, dressing and taking medications. When a family member is thrown into the caregiver role, they may not automatically see it as such but rather a natural extension of familial responsibility and love. However, that family dynamic can become rather strained, particularly if the caregiving extends for prolonged periods of time.

How the Caregiving Role Comes into Play

The need for help may be a gradual process. An elderly parent may live alone just fine until a fall incapacitates them and they need care. They may recover but not be able to fully live alone again without some type of help. Or the adult child just worries about their parent(s) and checks in with them often, helping them with occasional chores. Caregiving has no clearly defined role other than taking care of someone in any capacity.

An elderly parent may move in with an adult child or the adult child may hire someone as caregiver for a parent who refuses to relinquish their independence living on their own. Neighbors, friends and even social workers can fill in the caregiver role in some way. In fact, quite a few adults have caregivers that are family or familiar to them that do not receive pay. For the rest, there are many home health care or service agencies that are equipped to help older adults with their needs.

Two of the top reasons why many adult children end up in the role of caregiver for their parent or other loved one are due to injury or some type of brain impairment like Alzheimer’s Disease or some other type of dementia. Of course, there are also heart attack, stroke, cancer, Parkinson’s disease and other impairing health conditions which may precipitate the need for adult care. Cost of assisted living or health care facilities are what drive most families to keep the caregiving in the family.

Getting through the Responsibility

The role of caregiver can be stressful especially when the adult that needs care is independent and set in their ways. There is a fine line between being grateful for the care and resentful because life as they know it is gone. For this reason, many caregivers experience burnout which is the result of being overworked, overstressed and the feeling that you need help but don’t know where to turn.

Luckily, there are resources for caregivers to seek help such as support groups, online chat rooms and more. Good communication is important, especially if there are several family members who could help out. The key is actually asking for help, rather than trying to soldier on. Caregiving is hard work and just like a “regular” job, you need a vacation from it on occasion. The adult caregiver role is multi-faceted but can also be rewards as well.

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Positive Benefits You Reap as Adult Caregiver


Caregiving is a rewarding experience as well as being a whole lot of work and being extremely stressful at times. Many people only hear about the negative aspects of being a caregiver for a family member; the positive impact of being a caregiver is seldom a focus of the media and general conversations about caregiving.

Most full-time caregivers are caring for either an elderly parent or an aging spouse. In the case of parents who are aging, significant areas of stress in the situation include the time needed in order to properly care for an elderly person at home as well as the financial and organizational efforts needed to coordinate care. Many family disputes arise when siblings are in disagreement about what the proper route of care should be. In this sort of family situation, there is often a lot of stress between siblings and spouses; however, the benefits of caring for an aging parent are usually quite apparent.

Grown adults who take care of their elderly parents often forge new relationships with their parents and gain a whole new perspective on their family’s past through the experience of reversing the caregiver—dependent party relationship. Another common area where a lot of benefits are found is that spending so much time with an aging parent means incredible powers of bonding in many situations.

These positive benefits enjoyed by the grown children of elderly parents are sometimes the same benefits enjoyed by a spouse who becomes the caregiver of their husband or wife. In other situations, these same benefits are not found in this different caregiving situation. For some couples, a new implicit understanding develops between them when they spend their entire day together. In other situations, these two aging partners, one with significant need of help and the other being the source of that help, it can be the case that these two partners grow angry and hostile with each other instead of finding a new peace and understanding in their relationship.

Even if this is the case, there is a silver lining to be found if the caregiver gets enough support for him or herself. An important thing to emphasize is that the stresses and concerns of an adult caregiver are 100% real. The physical demands of being responsible for another person (who is potentially as physically large as you) are significant. In addition to the physical demands, the amount of time needed is substantial and the amount of patience and understanding that is needed can be overwhelming, especially in cases where the mind of the other person is deteriorating. An important thing to remember is that the caregiver has to have a support network, time to him or herself, and a healthy lifestyle in order to be a successful caregiver.

Some adult caregivers find a new respect for their own well-being through the experience of taking care of someone else. The doctor of a caregiver, as well as his or her friends and family will tell them often to take care of themselves, both in terms of physical health and mental health. Caregivers need full nights of sleep and a well-balanced diet, not to mention sufficient exercise and a stable mental life. Caregivers often see this demand to take care of their own life in order to be capable of taking care of their spouse as one of the most positive results of being a caregiver. Not only do you spend time and energy on the person you love, but you also have to take the time and energy to keep yourself well. This makes both members of a couple happier and healthier in the long run, which is what caregiving is all about.

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Is there a federal limit on how much a person can pay a family member for care-giving?


I read an article that states that an elderly person could pay up to ,000 a year to a family member for care-giving services. It didn’t state if that was an IRS, Medicaid or other ruling. How do I go about finding out if there is a limit and how would one go about paying a family member for such services?

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Important Caregiver Tips to Prevent Burnout


Adopting the role of caregiver is a long tradition of many families as it is the ultimate way to show love, kindness and devotion to a loved one in need. At some point in time, you or a family member will need a caregiver or have to step into the adult caregiver role – perhaps to care for an elderly parent. As the general population is growing older and living longer, there is an escalating need for adult caregiving and many families step into that role to fulfill that need.

While caregiving can be rewarding, it is a role that is also fraught with anxiety, fear, fatigue, stress and even some resentment. The possibility of burnout is quite high in adult caregivers and as a result, there are steps that should be taken to ensure that not only is your loved one well cared for but that you are as well. If you are not happy and are stressed and tired all the time, how will that translate to your caregiving role?

Half the battle is recognizing that you are close to burning out and the other half is doing something about it. You have to recognize that your own physical, emotional and mental health is just as important, if not more, than your loved one. Plus, you have to know when to ask for help and not be shy about it. Here are some important caregiver tips to prevent burnout:

1. Research your options for temporary long-term and short-term care when you need to take a vacation, a long weekend away or if you have to leave for an emergency. There are many agencies that offer in-home care or companion assistance, just as there are facilities that accept short-term patients should your loved one require constant care. Have these alternate caregivers waiting in the wings should you need them.

2. Schedule regular time away from your caregiving role. Enlist the help of siblings, friends and neighbors who can effectively watch over your loved one so that you can take a break whether it is going to the movies, going on a long walk, attending your child’s football game or having a date night with your spouse.

3. Join a support group through church, on the internet or even through a local agency. Commiserating with other people going through the same thing can greatly help your state of mind. Knowing those feelings of anger and frustration are normal definitely help diminish feeling guilty as well. Plus, you may learn new ways to cope or find help that you did not think of before.

4. Indulge in a hobby or something to take your mind off matters. Gardening, cross stitching, walking, listening to music and other activities can greatly help divert your attention away from your stress and give you a sense of well-being, sort of like recharging your internal batteries to be able to cope with your caregiving role more effectively.

5. Find time every day to pamper yourself so that you have something to look forward to. It may be waking 30 minutes early to savor a gourmet cup of coffee in peace or soaking in a hot tub full of bubbles. Perhaps it is those precious minutes of reading time while your loved one sleeps. Whatever unravels those internal knots, if only for a little while, is what you should do each day.

Always remember – it is not selfish to want to be alone and it is ok and perfectly normal to feel frustrated and angry about your situation. You will realize many rewards in caregiving such as getting to know your loved one more but those rewards do come at a price sometimes. By taking care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of your loved ones more effectively and efficiently.

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Hold a Family Meeting to Discuss Adult Caregiving Options an Important Step


When it becomes clear that a family member requires care, it can be a daunting position to. Too often, when faced with this prospect, families tend to allow one family member to take the lead – and most of the burden – and then step away. This is way too much pressure for one person to be under, plus it can cause resentment with the rest of the family members and compromise the care the patient is given. Instead of letting things get to this point, when someone in your family becomes ill, take the important first step to have a family meeting to discuss the care options on the table. Working together to come up with a plan will ease the collective burden and keep resentment to a minimum.

This meeting is a very important one, and you should plan for as you would any important business meeting. First, you have to decide who needs to be included in the meeting. In some cases, this may simply be siblings and maybe a parent, and in other cases, a large gathering of extended family members may also be involved. Sometimes, close friends of the family are included, and if you have hired someone to help with care, usually that person is included as well. These decisions are very personal to individual families and really depend on your family relationship. The one thing to consider, however, is that you may not want the patient there. You should give them an active role in their own care, but during this meeting, everyone should be free to voice their worries about taking on the role of caregiver as well as their concerns about the health of the patient.

Once you have decided who will be included in the meeting, you should plan in advance all of the things that need to be discussed. Providing care for someone is a tremendous responsibility. You will need to figure out who is able to take on the on the role of caring for the patient, who is in the best position to contribute financially, where the patient will live, and more. Now can be the time to work out a schedule if caring duties are to be shared, and now is also the time to find out who is able to take time off of work or away from their own lives, and exactly how much time they have to give. Making these decisions as a group is extremely important, as everyone will appreciate feeling involved and the person or people who are left to do the actual hands on caring will feel as though they have a strong support network.

A seemingly innocuous factor that can have a lot of bearing on this meeting is where you decide to hold it. If tensions are high between any family members, then the idea of “neutral ground” can become an important one. Having the meeting in a restaurant or coffee shop is fine, as long as everyone feels comfortable voicing their opinions there. Make sure wherever you have the meeting that you will be able to concentrate completely and not have to run after children, pets and so on.

After you have had your initial meeting and come up with a basic idea of how you will manage the care giving burden, you may want to have another meeting, this time with the patient. Let them know what you think is a good plan and let them voice their opinion. It is important for them to be active in their own care, but it is also important for everyone else to make sure they don’t feel guilty for needing the help. A joint meeting once your plan is in place can help lead to a smooth transition into providing care.

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