There is a big problem among adult caregivers these days that they either do not recognize or no one is talking about. The problem is called depression and as many as 25% of all adult caregivers suffer from this condition which is twice the national average of the population in general. These figures are actually quite conservative as many senior social agencies that provide resources to caregivers believe. In addition, once the caregiver’s duties are done with (usually due to the loved one’s death), depression can still occur or linger on.

Of all the adult caregivers, it seems that those who deal with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease in their loved one has a higher propensity for developing depression with it occurring in women twice as likely over men. The act of caregiving itself is not the cause of the depression but rather the feelings that stem from prolonged care. By the same token, not everyone experiences depression during the caregiving process either.

Why Depression Can Occur

Providing the best care to your loved one can mean giving up your own free time and making emotional and physical sacrifices. There is sometimes no time to call your own when you can decompress and relax. Always being in the “on” position can take its toll, even with the most efficient, competent person. It is quite normal for feelings of anger and resentment to crop up. There is also a feeling of loneliness and sadness in addition to anxiety and fatigue. Add those guilty emotions you have for even feeling these things and it is no wonder depression has become quite a problem among adult caregivers.

If you have never encountered depression before in others, you may perceive it as a weakness in yourself and ignore your feelings. This unbalanced feeling is not healthy and not only can it take a toll on your relationship with loved ones but also on yourself. Denying you have these conflicting emotions just makes things worse because you cannot will them away. Sometimes, you also may not realize you have depression because this condition manifests itself differently from one person to another. Plus depression symptoms do change in a situation over time. Here are some signs that might signal a depressive state:

1. A feeling of fatigue all the time is one signal of depression that no amount of sleep will solve. In addition, depression can also cause changes in your sleep patterns. Either you will want to sleep too much or you do not get enough.

2. Eating habits may change. Some people turn to food to try and assuage the feelings of guilt and frustration causing weight gain while others get a nervous stomach and do not eat enough because the food upsets them.

3. Loss of interest in many activities that were once fun and neglecting personal relationships are both signs of depression. Feelings of inadequacy are quite common as well.

4. Depression can manifest itself into actual physical symptoms that cannot be attributed to any other ailment. Headaches, non-specific pain on the body and digestive problems like irritable bowel syndrome are just a few of these physical symptoms of depression.

5. Permanently ending things through suicide is one of the most drastic problems in depression in caregivers because they feel they have no escape and no where to turn.

If you feel any or all of these symptoms of depression, you should know that you are not alone. Do not shoulder the burden any longer. Seek help through friends, family, church, counselors or even your doctor. Do not hold things in but rather confide in someone. It takes time to bounce back but do what you can to make that happen. Participate in activities that were once favorites – and force yourself if you have to. Think positively too. Slowly you will feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders and the days will be brighter. However, you have to take that first step to do something about the depression.

Adopting the role of caregiver is a long tradition of many families as it is the ultimate way to show love, kindness and devotion to a loved one in need. At some point in time, you or a family member will need a caregiver or have to step into the adult caregiver role – perhaps to care for an elderly parent. As the general population is growing older and living longer, there is an escalating need for adult caregiving and many families step into that role to fulfill that need.

While caregiving can be rewarding, it is a role that is also fraught with anxiety, fear, fatigue, stress and even some resentment. The possibility of burnout is quite high in adult caregivers and as a result, there are steps that should be taken to ensure that not only is your loved one well cared for but that you are as well. If you are not happy and are stressed and tired all the time, how will that translate to your caregiving role?

Half the battle is recognizing that you are close to burning out and the other half is doing something about it. You have to recognize that your own physical, emotional and mental health is just as important, if not more, than your loved one. Plus, you have to know when to ask for help and not be shy about it. Here are some important caregiver tips to prevent burnout:

1. Research your options for temporary long-term and short-term care when you need to take a vacation, a long weekend away or if you have to leave for an emergency. There are many agencies that offer in-home care or companion assistance, just as there are facilities that accept short-term patients should your loved one require constant care. Have these alternate caregivers waiting in the wings should you need them.

2. Schedule regular time away from your caregiving role. Enlist the help of siblings, friends and neighbors who can effectively watch over your loved one so that you can take a break whether it is going to the movies, going on a long walk, attending your child’s football game or having a date night with your spouse.

3. Join a support group through church, on the internet or even through a local agency. Commiserating with other people going through the same thing can greatly help your state of mind. Knowing those feelings of anger and frustration are normal definitely help diminish feeling guilty as well. Plus, you may learn new ways to cope or find help that you did not think of before.

4. Indulge in a hobby or something to take your mind off matters. Gardening, cross stitching, walking, listening to music and other activities can greatly help divert your attention away from your stress and give you a sense of well-being, sort of like recharging your internal batteries to be able to cope with your caregiving role more effectively.

5. Find time every day to pamper yourself so that you have something to look forward to. It may be waking 30 minutes early to savor a gourmet cup of coffee in peace or soaking in a hot tub full of bubbles. Perhaps it is those precious minutes of reading time while your loved one sleeps. Whatever unravels those internal knots, if only for a little while, is what you should do each day.

Always remember – it is not selfish to want to be alone and it is ok and perfectly normal to feel frustrated and angry about your situation. You will realize many rewards in caregiving such as getting to know your loved one more but those rewards do come at a price sometimes. By taking care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of your loved ones more effectively and efficiently.

A popular radio talk show host often gets calls from people who say they have “tried every diet and still can’t lose weight.” She has a simple answer for these callers, “Eat less, move more.” Sometimes, unconsciously, we circumvent good old fashioned common sense while we’re looking for answers that are much more complicated. It works. Eat less, move more and you will lose weight. In fact, that is how you lose weight; when your body burns more calories than it takes in, you lose weight. It really isn’t complicated at all.

Of course, many of us have built in excuses when it comes to exercise. We either don’t have time to exercise or we absolutely hate to exercise so we just don’t do it at all. Keep in mind though, that the whole idea behind weight loss is to get healthier. Sure, you’ll have a more attractive body, but the real pay-off comes when you live longer, have more stamina, and can enjoy your life more. Exercise is a part of that solution. Just look at some of the benefits you’ll realize when you start to exercise:

More energy - Who couldn’t use more energy to get through the day? Your body was made to move. Exercising will get your heart pumping and all your body systems working more efficiently. Exercise also increases blood flow and circulation, which will help you concentrate and stay alert and focused throughout the day.

Stress relief - For most people, stress is a constant part of life. Stress can cause serious health problems ranging from fatigue and depression to muscle pain and even a higher risk of having a heart attack or a stroke. Regular exercise is a wonderful way to manage stress and help you relax.

Better overall health - Exercise will increase your stamina and flexibility and will make it easier for you to get around. Older people who stay active are far more likely to be able to live without assistance than people who don’t exercise. Studies have also shown that people who exercise regularly are less likely to have depression and anxiety and also have a lower risk of some types of cancer and heart disease.

Better sleep - Having trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Experts recommend regular exercise a few hours before bedtime to help you get the best night’s sleep possible. Exercise is the key to regulating your body’s systems so that you can sleep easily and wake up refreshed and ready to face the day. Any way, you can learn more about how to incorporate exercise into a common sense weight loss plan from these articles and our publication linked to within these pages.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at some ways you can incorporate exercise into your present lifestyle. Did I say “Tomorrow” again? Let’s see whether this time I’ll keep my promise and get back to you on this then